Letter from a Sheeple

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From: E-Dubs
Date: Jul 29, 2007 9:05 PM


Thank you:
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Elsewhere's Daughter


I am typical of those who get all of their information from the mainstream media and news networks like CNN and FOX News.

As a result, I feel that I am well-informed and aware of what is going on in my country and around the world.

I know that we must stay in Iraq until we win. I have never heard an explanation of exactly what winning is but I was probably just out of the room the times it’s been explained.

I know that things are going well in Iraq because the president says so, and he’s in a position to know better than anyone.

I know that President Bush is a good Christian, because he has said so many times – and a good Christian would never lie about something like that.

I know that if we withdraw from Iraq, the terrorists will follow us home. I haven’t figured out exactly how they’re all going to get here – especially since President Bush has made America so safe – but I’m sure the government is keeping that information to themselves, so as not to give those terrorists any ideas they don’t already have.

I know that the oil companies have our best interests at heart, and will put their astoundingly high profits to good use for the betterment of all Americans. If that wasn’t the case, they wouldn’t waste all that money on commercials to tell us so.

I know that the president and vice president have often been accused of doing things they are not allowed to do. But in every case, they have assured the nation that they checked, and found that they are perfectly within their rights to do anything they want to.

I know that Alberto Gonzales is an honest, trustworthy man, because he wouldn’t have made it all the way to being the Attorney General if he wasn’t. I cannot explain why his testimony on any number of topics has been contradicted over and over – sometimes by others, sometimes by way of documents, and sometimes by his own words – but I am sure it is simply the result of his political enemies trying to make him look bad.

I know that our elections are fair and honest, because if they weren’t, that big a news story would be all over the TV.

I know that all Muslims are potential terrorists and should be watched closely – even those who are American citizens. Just because they have lived here for generations does not place them above suspicion, unlike white Christians who are incapable of fanaticism in the name of religion.

I know that Barack Obama should never be elected president because his middle name is Hussein, which in and of itself indicates that he is not to be trusted.

I know that many Democrats have been involved in corruption and sex scandals, because I’ve seen the (D) next to names like Foley and Vitter when FOX aired stories about their wrongdoing.

I know that a few Republicans have been involved in corruption and sex scandals, but they always come on TV after being caught and remind us that God has forgiven them, which should be the end of the discussion.

I know it is imperative that American citizens be kept apprised of every detail of the lives of people like Paris Hilton. I am not certain of the reason for this, but these stories would not be on the TV news, day in and day out, if they weren’t of the utmost importance. I suspect it has something to do with national security, and I just haven’t yet figured out the connection.

I know that giving huge tax breaks to rich people and corporations is strengthening our economy, and its benefits will trickle-down to me any day now.

I know that this administration is not hiding anything from anyone. They simply refuse to produce documents, communications, and witnesses because they don’t want to encourage even more blatant witch-hunts and fishing expeditions by the Democrats.

I know that the job market in the US is booming, because big companies wouldn’t be outsourcing jobs unless they had run out of potential employees here.

I know that all liberals are anti-religion, anti-capitalism, and anti-American because I hear that said over and over by everyone in the media - and that many people wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t a fact.

I know that Republicans are the party that supports our troops, because they never miss an opportunity to proudly say so every time they’re on TV.

I know that no matter how bad things seem to be in our great nation, things are actually going just great because if they weren’t, TV news personalities wouldn’t be as perky and chipper as they always are.

But mostly I know that when someone tries to tell me that there are facts on the internet that don’t get covered by the mainstream media, they are just trying to confuse me – and I am never going to allow myself to be confused by the facts.